


Eye Contact

by why_cello_there



Series: Autistic Stan [1]
Category: South Park
Genre: Asperger's Syndrome, Autism, Autism Spectrum Disorder, Fluff, Kinda, it's not super angsty or anything, veeeery vague description of sensory overload i guess?, vent fic, you can take autistic stan from my cold dead hands
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-18
Updated: 2018-01-18
Packaged: 2019-03-06 07:53:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13406784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/why_cello_there/pseuds/why_cello_there
Summary: It's too loud. Under quieter circumstances, Stan would probably be able to look his friend in the eye.-----AKA Eli projects onto fictional characters! Short-ish vent-ish fic I wrote a while ago. (There is a severe lack of autistic Stan that I would love to remedy. So this is my first attempt.)





	Eye Contact

Eye contact, Stan reminds himself, tearing his eyes away from the tabletop for the umpteenth time to look at Kyle as he speaks.

Stan doesn’t really get why eye contact automatically equals listening to someone. He’s seen Clyde look Mr Garrison in the eye and not absorb a single thing he says. And he’s pretty sure that Craig makes eye contact with Mr Mackey every detention, and he seems to ignore it enough that he still gets detention weekly, at least.

(Stan doesn’t get why eye contact is a sign of respect, either. It means aggression in almost every other creature, why not humans? Stan thinks animals are easier to understand. He spends more time with Sparky than the rest of his family. Voluntarily, anyway).

Besides, Stan’s listening. He’s just also bouncing his leg under the table and looking at the tabletop.

Wait, no, eye contact.

Shit.

He looks up at Kyle and realises that Kyle’s stopped speaking. _Shit._

Okay, truth be told, Stan wasn’t _entirely_ listening. But it wasn’t because he wasn’t looking at Kyle, honest! It was just all the _**noise**_ in the cafeteria, he can’t think with seven hundred conversations going on around him. Who could? He can barely understand Kyle asking a question.

“You okay?” Stan thinks Kyle looks concerned. He's never been good at telling apart expressions.

Stan doesn’t speak; his body does the communicating for him. His leg bounces quicker under the table, his eyes dart around the room, unable to focus on a single thing. His fingers tap a silent rhythm only he understands - or cares to, anyway. Kyle pauses, before saying something else. Stan doesn’t _quite_ understand it, but he _thinks_ it’s something like

“Too loud?” Probably.

Stan likes Kyle. He likes that Kyle uses simple questions when he’s overwhelmed like this, that Kyle doesn’t force him to look him in the eye if it makes him uncomfortable (and it’s a pity, Stan thinks, that it _does_ make him uncomfortable; Kyle has pretty eyes, and Stan hates that he can’t bring himself to look at them more often). Stan nods slightly, and Kyle nods back.

Other people are less accommodating when Stan goes quiet (there’s a technical term for it that Stan has since forgotten; Kyle probably knows it. He’s the smart one); his dad doesn’t seem to get that Stan isn’t choosing to go silent, and his sister tends to push him to speak, too. And don’t even get started with Cartman, and all his “cat got your tongue?” quips that aren’t as funny as Cartman seems to think they are.

But Kyle is good, and Stan supposes that’s why they’re best friends. Kyle leaves the cafeteria with him and just waits for Stan to be okay again, and Stan knows he’s fine if it takes the rest of lunch. The first time, Stan expected him to make a big deal of it; but Kyle just played on his phone without pressuring Stan or making it a spectacle of the whole thing. And Stan appreciates it, and has expressed this more times than he can count. But Kyle always smiles at him (and Stan usually sees this, since he’s better with eye contact around Kyle. Not great, but better than with most people), and says hey, it’s no big deal, Stan’s his best friend. Don't worry. And Stan, although it’s difficult most other times, easily smiles back.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reaching the end of my word vomit. Kudos and comments are much appreciated. If anyone wants to talk to me about this headcanon they are welcome to message me at @timberfins on tumblr. Thank you very much!
> 
> EDIT: I now have a South Park blog! Mind heading over and giving me a follow on @a-sp-ie ?


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